With the release of Pure Speed, Pure Ukulele, the band's management prepares the groundwork for another grueling round of cross-country touring including a prestigious opening slot for Mr. Big.  On December 31 -- New Year's Eve -- the group's growing contingent of rabid female fans (affectionately known as the UTUPets) pack the hall at Brownies for a farewell show before the tour.  The air is charged as Life in a Blender blow through a blistering first set and lead singer, Don Ralph, tells the assembled masses to stay tuned for the upcoming UTUP performance.  There are drastically conflicting accounts about what happens next -- only the participants themselves will ever know the exact truth -- but the overall consensus of opinion seems to go like this:

As the band takes the stage and the familiar opening riff of "The Cereal Song" fills the speakers, the crowd, thrown into an uncontrollable frenzy by the site of a bare-chested Moritz and a clearly inebriated Derevlany, surges toward the stage.  Taunting the throng of approaching femininity, Derevlany grinds his crotch-level instrument against his groin in a rhythmic motion and then – according to Ralph who is standing at the edge and has a clear view of the action at hand – removes his penis from his shorts and commences to strum his soprano ukulele with the length of his manhood.  Disgusted by the display, Moritz removes the strap of his ukulele, makes a miming motion as if to indicate he is wiping his buttocks with the instrument, smashes it full force into Derevlany’s amplifier, walks off the stage and out of the club.  Faced with a seemingly unmendable creative riff and a mounting stack of paternity suits leveled against the band, management decides to postpone the tour indefinitely.

And so we have it.  The on-stage disintegration of the greatest speed-ukulele band the world as ever known.  Despite fan-based attempts to assemble a Uke (Till U Puke) reunion, Moritz and Derevlany have refused to play together since that memorable moment on the first day of the year, 1993.

Until tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen it is now your chance to witness history. Please join The Dog & Pony Show and I as we lift our Bic lighters into the air, wave `em around like we just don’t care, and welcome Uke (Til U Puke) back to the stage for the first time in five years.

Just Uke it!

-- Spot Levin, New York City, 1998